Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Building families around fear

I can't add much to the legal, medical, and policy analysis that I've seen regarding today's Supreme Courth decision upholding the "partial-birth" abortion ban.

What I can say is this: it makes me, personally, a little more afraid of bearing children. The law prohibits a procedure that exists to reduce danger to a pregnant woman, a procedure that only comes into consideration when something has gone horribly wrong with a pregnancy that a mother wished to carry to term.

Do I want children? I don't know. Maybe. Probably?

What would I do were I to unexpectedly become pregnant? I don't know.

I do know that I would rather make my decision about what kind of family I'd like based on the life I want to live and what kind of love I want in it. Now when I consider having children, I'll have to wrestle with new fears of dying after suffering a perforated uterus, or giving birth to a child whose life can only be blessed by brevity in the face of the physical suffering it will endure.

I deeply resent this cruel and painful intrusion on my decisions about the most beautiful and loving relationships I will ever have.

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