The fates have smiled upon my social life and preyed on my liver in such a way that this week's meeting of Moscow's Drinking Liberally chapter falls on the same night as a televised debate between one of the most nationally-visible Idaho Democratic candidates in years, Larry "not Bill Sali" Grant, and his Republican opponent Bill "smug garden gnome" Sali. I attended an earlier debate between the two several weeks ago (and did not blog about it as I promised I would), and it was an interesting experience, even if no one brought their big foam fingers. To make up for the complete lack of silliness* at the aforementioned debate, I am introducing some rules for a Grant-Sali Debate Drinking Game. Before I ley them out, please remember that Drinking Liberally is drinking responsibly, so do break the rules as propriety and safety require. Also, neither the national Drinking Liberally group nor its individual chapters may endorse any candidate, and I do not speak for the organization.
Sali-Grant Debate Drinking Game Rules, 2006
I. Take a drink if...
*Sali calls Grant "liberal."
*Grant calls himself "moderate."
*a candidate is wearing cowboy boots or a bolo tie. Take one drink per tie or pair of boots, per candidate. In the unlikely event a candidate is wearing only one cowboy boot, see part III.
*Grant uses the term "career politician."
*Sali invokes the specter of a Pelosi-led House.
*a candidate says "family values" but means "conservative Christian values."
*the term "tax and spend" is used.
*either candidate tells a verifiable falsehood.
*either candidate contradicts himself.
*a joke falls flat with the audience.
*a candidate assures you of his impending win. (e.g. "When I go to Congress...")
*the term "working" is used as a euphamism for "poor."
*the term "American dream" is used.
*a policy is touted as beneficial to "family farmers."
*Sali says at any time "stay the course."
*Grant mentions Brian Schweitzer.
*Grant mentions hunting as a child, or alludes to an affinity for firearms.
*a candidate displays real and objective lunacy (I'm remembering something about trees being 60% crude oil...).
II. Finish your drink if...
*either candidate completely avoids answering a question.
*either candidate admits to not knowing enough to answer a question.
III. As a non-drinking-related bonus, eat your hat if...
*Sali associates himself with Dennis Hastert.
*making out occurs.
*Sali is spotted conversing with a pink yard flamingo.
I think that ought to do the trick. Feel free to suggest any other rules, and I've set my brother in law to work at creating some of his own. The debate will be shown on Idaho Public Television, and may even be uploaded to the web at IPTV's site.
*With the notable exception of Grant's respone to a question about alcohol control that ended with "...If I'm going to decide what to spend my money on - alcohol or meth - I'd choose meth...[laughter] Prevention."